Where is it? Where have you hidden it, you miserable thief?

I sincerely apologize for my incessant promising of, but lack of producing blogs. I wrote one out the last time, it´s just that blogger was down by the time I finished the code. Sorry.

This goes back awhile; I´m sorry about my lack of enthusiasm, I´m pretty tired of rocks and living in postcards and like that.

After our less than satisfying stint in Lima, Bramwell and I decided that sandboarding at the real Cancun was the best idea. We basically sunned ourself by that pool for 2 days.

The soccer pitch/landfill next door makes for a good half-frame/illustration of the stark difference between tourist facilities and how people really live out here.

Bram caught a sense of humour on this dune.

¨Look Ma, no hands.¨ Yes he is pissing.

Salba Search. The correct answer is more than 8 but less than 15 winner gets dinner.

After introducing jet-skis to the Amazon, I´m going to bring Camels out here as a ploy to make millions in filthy tourist dollars.

The sand was similar to napalm - very sticky fire.

My shoes haven´t been the same since.

Don´t forget the church.

I am considering writing a column when I return titled ¨A dilltante´s guide to travel.¨ Tip #1 - Macchu Picchu is cool, but way overpriced. Check it out.

This is the $105 train ride.

Just so you don´t get to bored of the trip. Notice how they use cacti-ish plants because glass is so scarce.

Make sure you don´t travel with someone who sucks because otherwise you might wind up discussing the status and nature of the housing market in Fresno with some dick bags from USC.

Don´t pay for a guide. If you aren´t smart enough to understand how cool this tree is, jump off the big 29.

What with the admission price being as high as it was, they should have bungee jumping off this bridge or something.

The F-5 was feeling cheated. Luckily that Leica is currently out of commision.

There a lot of opportunities to do this so make the most of them. Be sure to get in everyone else´s photos.

That river might be historically significant or something.

I think this tree channels the messages of the gods.

This weather station may qualify as the World´s most scenic. In case you didn´t know, travel is all about visiting The World´s ...........est things..

Oh, and wearing the worst gear possible. That´s important.

Never forget that you are on an entirely different continent. So while you are channeling spirit energy from rocks, it is definately jesus, not some Incan god or something. We conquistadorred these people, so now their rocks belong to our stupid white bread religions.

When in doubt contemplate suicide.

I guess this mouldly old wall is pretty important or something.

Honestly, this is the best part coming up.

These guys might have the best job ever. I wonder if they have other responsibilities or whether they just wrangle the Llamas everyday at 2 p.m or something?

It´s basically pretty cool for a bunch of rocks, I guess.

This rabbit thing knew where the real spirit energy was. He was so Zen, the beigest pants in the world could never reach such a level of balance.

More rocks.

Yeah, there are some rocks over there too.

I recognize that mystical air, it means I´d like to see your underwear.

I guess the groundskeepers - read Llamas - don´t eat dandelions.

It was unanimous, that big rock in the center there is the best place to suicide yourself at Macchu Picchu.

It looks like art, but if you look close, you can see some fat British turds practicing their downward dog. The Inca´s loved Yoga too because just like you they lived an excessively priviledged lifestyle..

¨Make sure the flash is on.¨ Another option for making millions might be ¨a guide to using your digital camera in the daylight.´ Lesson 1, make sure the flash is on at all times. That way your photos will always look their best.

Don´t worry, if you forgot your pearl necklace at home, you don´t have to walk around without one.

Back in town they sell very large beers by the raging river. It would be nice except I promise that the only cool people around are the ones you go with.

Here´s another tip. Water is heavy, you better get a sling so you don´t have carry all of that weight in your tender hands. #1

#2

Yeah, those are hotdogs.

And that there is bacon eating Adley..

Being a dog here might be pretty cool. Maybe then a place to sleep would cost less than $150 a night.

Probably the most cat we´re going to get on this trip.

#3

That´s pretty much the end of the how-to section.

Our less bad hostel in Cuzco had a good view.

Must be the vx-1 or something...

I wish I could find myself. I´d love to be that guy.

This looks nice, but only because my composition is so clever.

Is this what Belgrade is like?

Bramwell and I broke up on this day. I went off to Puno and got myself the nicest room in town. It had a table.

I stumbled into this very cool lefty collective cafe/alpaca goods place.

It was in a 400 year old hacienda.

It had a good view of the church..

And their less than one dollar Alpaca burger was the best burger I have had in South America.

These trees are supposed to look like wangers, but they don´t anymore.

Art..

I saw some kids shredding. That´s usually cool.

Because of inclimate weather and laziness it took me 3 days and getting lost to manage to make my way to the shores of Lake Titticaca.

That arch is where Bolivia is..

Copacabana.

Probably the best part of this trip so far. After charging this cobbley hill.

I guess the locals were pumped on me dodging German tourists and ferrel dogs. On my walk back up I received many kind words and requests to do it again. For the first time in South America I didn´t feel like a total vampire.

But since I´m living in the lap of luxury I couldn´t appease them and had to beat it out of town on this bus.

Oh, but I saw the church from the bus.

La Paz is a very cool place.

That´s all the photos I managed to get uploaded so far. I promise another blog within the next two days and it´s a good one. It includes the world´s deadliest road, the World´s biggest salt lake and a bunch of other goodness.

If you owe me money and aren´t Benji feel free to email it to me @ skate_airborn@hotmail.com

Smithfits. Don´t forget. December 16th. Be there.

Oh, I´m holed up in Arica, Chile. It´s cool.

Send Bramwell and I any kind words you can spare.